What to Do if an Elderly Person Isn’t Taking Care of Him or Herself?

If an elderly person isn’t taking care of him or herself, the most important step is to recognize the warning signs and take action before the situation becomes dangerous. This usually starts with a gentle conversation, followed by a medical checkup, and then arranging support through family, community resources, or professional care services. In Milwaukee, families have access to several senior support programs as well as trusted providers who can step in when loved ones need extra help at home.

Why Some Seniors Stop Taking Care of Themselves

Elderly self-neglect is more common than many people think. According to the National Council on Aging, around 1 in 10 Americans aged 60+ have experienced some form of neglect or abuse, and self-neglect is one of the leading concerns reported to Adult Protective Services.

There are many reasons older adults may stop looking after themselves. For some, it’s physical limitations such as arthritis or mobility problems. For others, the problem may be emotional—grief, depression, or the loneliness that comes with losing friends and spouses. Cognitive decline is another major factor. Families who connect with professionals providing  dementia care in Milwaukee often discover memory loss and confusion are at the root of poor hygiene, missed medications, or malnutrition.

Financial challenges can also play a role. Seniors living on fixed incomes may cut corners on food, home maintenance, or prescriptions, which worsens health outcomes over time.

Recognizing the Signs of Self-Neglect

Families should stay alert to changes in behavior or daily living patterns. These aren’t just small quirks—they can be serious red flags. Some common indicators include:

• Wearing the same soiled clothes repeatedly
• Skipping meals or losing weight without explanation
• Living in a cluttered or unsafe home environment
• Ignoring medical appointments or failing to take prescribed medications
• Signs of confusion, forgetfulness, or withdrawal from social life
• Unopened mail, unpaid bills, or financial mismanagement

Spotting these signs early makes it possible to step in with support before the situation escalates.

Warning Signs vs. Possible Solutions

Warning Sign	Possible Solution
Poor personal hygiene	Arranging help with bathing and grooming through in-home caregivers
Unexplained weight loss	Meal planning support, grocery delivery, or nutritional guidance
Unsafe or cluttered living space	Home safety modifications and professional cleaning assistance
Missed medications	Medication reminder systems, pill organizers, or caregiver check-ins
Memory lapses/confusion	Medical evaluation and specialized dementia care in Milwaukee
Social withdrawal	Encouraging community engagement or connect with senior centers in Milwaukee
Unpaid bills/financial neglect	Financial monitoring, family oversight, or professional guardianship if necessary

Step-by-Step Actions Families Can Take

The situation can feel overwhelming, but breaking it down into steps makes it manageable.

Step 1: Start with Compassionate Communication

Avoid accusations or frustration. Instead, tell your loved one you’re worried about his or her health and safety. Sometimes seniors are more receptive when the focus is on love and concern rather than criticism.

Step 2: Get a Medical Checkup

A doctor’s evaluation is essential to rule out or address physical illnesses, depression, or early dementia. If cognitive decline is detected, professional support such as dementia care in Milwaukee can make daily living safer and more structured.

Step 3: Build a Support Network

Family members, neighbors, and friends can share responsibilities. Even small tasks like delivering groceries or stopping by for a chat can reduce feelings of isolation.

Step 4: Explore Care Options

When independence is no longer safe, professional services step in. Many families choose home care in Milwaukee for part-time assistance with meals, cleaning, and personal care. For seniors who need continuous supervision, live-in care in Milwaukee allows them to remain in familiar surroundings with around-the-clock support.

Step 5: Make the Home Safer

Simple changes to grab bars in bathrooms, better lighting, and removing rugs or clutter can significantly reduce fall risks.

Step 6: Leverage Technology

Fall detection devices, smart medication dispensers, and video check-in systems are modern tools that give peace of mind to families while preserving independence for seniors.

Step 7: Take Legal and Protective Measures

If an elderly person refuses help but is clearly in danger, contacting Wisconsin’s Adult Protective Services may be necessary. Guardianship through Milwaukee County can also be explored in extreme cases where the senior’s decision-making ability is compromised.

Preventing Self-Neglect Before It Starts

Waiting until a crisis occurs makes intervention harder. Instead, families should adopt preventive measures: encouraging healthy routines, promoting regular doctor visits, and staying socially connected. Seniors who participate in community programs or use professional caregivers early on are less likely to reach dangerous levels of self-neglect.

Regular check-ins are particularly important. A quick phone call or weekly visit not only provides companionship but also ensures small issues don’t spiral into bigger ones.

The Human Side: Caregiver Stress

When seniors refuse to care for themselves, the emotional toll on family caregivers can be enormous. Balancing concern with respect for independence often leads to guilt and frustration. Respite services and part-time caregiving support allow families to take breaks while still ensuring consistent care. This balance can prevent burnout and boost overall family wellbeing.

Facts & Figures: Elder Self-Neglect in Context

• According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, self-neglect is the most commonly reported form of elder mistreatment in the country.
• In Wisconsin, Adult Protective Services data shows that thousands of elder abuse and neglect cases are reported each year, with self-neglect making up a significant percentage.
• Research published in the Journal of the American Medical Association found that older adults experiencing self-neglect are at a 3x higher risk of mortality compared to those who maintain self-care.
• Nearly 40% of people living with dementia experience some level of self-neglect, highlighting the need for specialized care solutions in communities like Milwaukee.

These statistics highlight why families should act quickly when signs appear.

Local Milwaukee Resources

Families in Milwaukee don’t need to handle this challenge alone. Helpful resources include:

• Milwaukee County Aging & Disability Services – Assistance, referrals, and guardianship guidance
• Wisconsin Adult Protective Services – For cases of self-neglect and elder abuse
• Local senior centers – Opportunities for social engagement and activities to reduce isolation
• Professional care providers – Agencies offering multiple home care services in Milwaukee, tailored to individual needs.

Moving Forward with Care

Helping an elderly loved one who isn’t taking care of him or herself is never simple, but families don’t have to carry the burden alone. Whether the issue is physical limitations, emotional challenges, or memory loss, the key is to act early and put the right systems in place.

In Milwaukee, support is within reach—including local care providers who help with meals and hygiene, specialized programs designed for seniors facing cognitive decline, and even live-in care options for those needing 24/7 supervision.

By combining family involvement with professional services and community resources, seniors can remain safe, supported, and connected while families gain peace of mind knowing their loved ones are truly cared for.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I report concerns about an elderly person?
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If you suspect an elderly person is being neglected, abused, or unable to care for him or herself, you can contact Adult Protective Services in your county. They investigate concerns and can arrange support or safety measures. In urgent cases, call emergency services.

When should I intervene with my elderly parents?+

You should step in when you notice serious warning signs such as poor hygiene, missed medications, unsafe living conditions, memory decline, or situations where your parents’ safety is at risk.

What should I do when an elderly person can’t take care of him or herself?+

Start with a medical evaluation, involve family or close friends, and explore home care services. Depending on the senior’s needs, part-time help, dementia-specific care, or even live-in care may be necessary to keep him or her safe.

How do I deal with aging parents who refuse help?+

Have calm, respectful conversations and explain your concerns with empathy. Involve them in decisions, introduce small changes first, and if necessary, seek advice from professionals or trusted community members they respect.

How do you help a senior who doesn’t want help?+

Understand the reasons behind the refusal, such as fear of losing independence. Offer limited support at first, suggest trial periods with caregivers, and reassure the senior that accepting help doesn’t mean losing control of his or her life.

What happens if an elderly person has no one to care for him or her?+

If an elderly person has no family or friends to step in, local agencies and social services can arrange care. In some cases, guardianship may be appointed by the court to ensure the senior’s health and safety needs are met.

How do you declare an elderly parent incompetent?+

If a parent can no longer make safe decisions independently, a petition can be filed in court to declare him or her legally incompetent. A medical evaluation is required, and the court decides if a guardian should be appointed to manage the individual’s care and decisions.